He looked at her with stars of glory in his eyes. That same glory, that she had crowned him with, and that made him feel like a real man.
A man, who had experienced the supernatural powers of the feminine, revealing herself in all her colourful splendor.
A man, who had had the honor of being witness to the loving madeness of the ever-changing ocean of MEM…
MEM - The Mother, The Magdalene, The Moon Pristess, MARIAM MARE - The Master of matter
There he was, shining bright in his newly awoken SHIN. At the same time proud as a king, who had just manifested his kingdom, and humble as a child, who had suddenly got everything he wanted, and now was to stand the test, whether he could in fact manage it…
One thing was for sure. He wanted her and he wanted that unconditional, ever-flowing, ever-changing love, that seemed to have all kinds of shapes and expressions.
Worst of all that had it’s own, uncontrollable life…
That was her. Difficult to grasp. As a soap, that would slip out of his hand, every time he squeezed it too hard.
He moved insecurely on a sharp edge, desperately trying to balance, what seemed impossible for a beginner…
Shifting between eternal bliss and restless fear. A desperate need to hold on to something.
To himself, who ever that was, to her, to those moments of divine union, that transcended everything, he had ever experienced.
That moved every single brick of that puzzle of beliefs, that made up his whole reality.
All of it vanished in the nearness of her and he found himself in a state of magical madness.
When he managed to let go, the magic seemed to expand on one level, where as on another, he felt like, he was loosing it even more…
As time went by, the need for control became stronger.
He started building up walls, where in the feminine waters, could flow in an ordered manner.
Happy about the new sense of re-gained control, he kept on building, gaining more and more dominans over matter.
What he didn’t realize was, that the more he build, the less the waters seemed to move.
And so it was, as the waters of the great mother were slowly drained for life, the Magdalene disappeared ….
The dynamic wheel of life stopped spinning.
The dance between Movement & Stillness. Life & Death, Creation & Destruction, slowly turned into a traumatized, rigid position.
The fluids, that used to spring happily from her sacred womb, started manifesting only by the eternal stream of tear drops running down her cheek.
The less she moved, the more he build. Even more desperate and frustrated of having been cast out of heaven.
That heaven, that they had created in the sacred state of being and allowing.
He had forgotten. Blind by desire. Obsessed by the thought of owning her. Possesed by a fallen angel.
Mars was re-peating instead of re-pairing and re-acting instead of re-sponding.
The fear of loosing everything he had always wanted, grew to a degree, that sent him directly to Hell.
He was beside himself and the pain was unbearable. Hopelessly drowned in his own chaotic waters.
All kinds of emotions went through his system, as Lucifer started whispering softly in his ear…
‘Don’t you see, she is the devil in disguise, a betrayer, who wants to humiliate you. A lier and a slut. She is really just an unworthy prostitute and if you follow my advice, you will re-gain control and project the pain, that she caused you, back at her. The principle of retaliation is the only way’…
His head was spinning as the voice insisted; ‘Call her that name, tell her what she really is’…
LIER, BETRAYER, CRAZY BITCH, PROSTITUTE
The words hit her right in her sacred center and opened up the wound, that she had been carrying throughout so many incarnations.
She crumbled, as the well known feeling of unworthiness, shame and guilt was slowly but surely activated. As a forced penetration, that would make the blood spring from the depths of that unhealed, collective wound of hers.
A rapid movie past by her inner sight. Images of her father, who had in all bitterness of his own inability to be the man, she looked up to, called her a prostitute. Her first love affairs, who punished her, for choosing her dreams over them. Her ex - boyfriend, who felt in his right to spread fake rumors about her. Her lover, who would use every possible weakness to manipulate her into giving him exactly what he wanted and who would call her the worst words ever created, when she didn’t. After all the past life where she was an actual prostitute, and where men threw stones at her for the sake of it, wasn’t much different from this. The shameful feeling and the collective, masculine psychosis were the exact same.
And then suddenly in the midst of the cycle repeating itself, something so much stronger raised up through her spine and made her aware of those millions of women standing behind her, awaiting in patience her gesture…
She sighed, wasn’t this, what it was all about?
The destruction of the great Mother Earth, the general abuse and disrespect of the feminine values in the society, the imbalanced dynamic between so many men and women on a collective level and in her own personal history…
The feeling of anger and injustice raised through her veins and in that very moment, she decided to take the pain of all those women upon her shoulders, and to finally step into character.
To sacrifice her own personal need for the greater good.
To speak the truth about who she really was.
To soften the rigid and re-balance the imbalanced.
To once and for all heal that collective wound, that had been passed through generations for decades.
To let the prostitute reveal her true identity.
It was OVER.
The Magdalene manuscript was about to be re-written…
NOW & FOREVER.