FROM LACK TO ABUNDANCE

The soft, feminine energy of the new paradigm is finally on and it makes me reflect on my own shift from my Ego identity as Mars oriented huntress to the Venusian fairy, that is my soul. A shift that could be described as a deep change of belief system from survival and lack ( Plutos Control of the age of Pisces) to surrender and abundance ( Jupiters: Trust of the age of Aquarious) 

As so many others, I come from a family where abundance was considered such a far- out utopia, that it didn’t even exist in our collective consciousness. On the contrary our whole vibration was characterized by a solid imprint of LACK. 

It wasn’t a specific lack of economy, things, food ( although my parents reaction to this influence resulted in lack of fisical resources) but more like a deep-felt belief in life itself being based on LACK, meaning that lack was a primary condition so to speak. As a natural continuation of this belief , we were all supposed to rely on our own will power to force and control the circumstances and create succes/security for ourselves. An underlying and all consuming FEAR of this LACK would become our driver towards succes/security. We were no longer human beings but only human doings, as flow was replaced by force, trust by fear and compassion by Ego. Always on the run trying to achieve whatever could take us away from that unavoidable feeling of lack, of not being enough. Always alert to not miss any opportunity. Always on the outlook to become something in the eyes of society, chasing the illusion of a fisical savior in the form of a new relationship, a new car, the best grades ect. 

Always surviving and never surrendering...

As I grew up competition and comparison was my everyday reality and I became an over achiever, constantly trying to impress my surroundings. In school I was one of the intelligent ones, and most of my existence was centered around achieving the best grades, so that I could create this great future for myself and, for a moment at least, feel the fake sensation of being something. After high school I became a dancer and even though the whole point of dancing was to take me into the flow of life, playfulness was soon replaced by the old, unbearable belief system of achievement. I became a great dancer, a great dance teacher and someone, who could and would always entertain everybody around me with my latest amazing achievement. Everything was a question of survival and the quality of every situation or human being was measured, overall speaking, by the value of succes in the eyes of others. My relationship with men weren’t much different. First I would chase the chosen one, as only a real huntress with a long education in survival, know how to do. Then I would impress him with all sorts of things from fake orgasms to amazing stories, sexy clothing or the perfect care and in the end I would be figthing a never ending battle to make him understand that he didn’t do enough for me. But how could he, when I wasn’t able to receive... 

I wanted everything so much, that I never understood, that I had it already. Simply because I didn’t let myself relax enough, to realize the reality of life...

In the end I did, what a wise man ( Ole Vadum Dahl) once said: 

‘Stop for a moment and become whole again...’

( In danish: ‘Stop en halv og bliv mere hel’)

Here is what I realized: 

I was always good enough just as everybody else. It is the greatest illusion to think, that we have to become something. We are already who we were always supposed to be. 

We all have acces to the flow of life and all it requires is our presence. Our being. To let go of every effort and lean into the vibration of our true essence. From that vibration we will naturally attract, what we need. 

It might sound complicated and in the beginning it certainly was and required a whole lot of un - learning but really, it is the most natural thing in life...

We just forgot to be natural. We forgot to flow. We forgot that, we were created in the image of God, meaning that perfection was there from the beginning before we began to strive for it.. ( and that the striving itself was, what lead us away from it)

Today I attract instead of achieving. I act when its necessary and then I quickly surrender, knowing that, I myself only play a small part in the outcome of life. I see that control is an illusion and that surrendering my will to God/ the Universe paradoxically gives me everything, that I was always trying to achieve by myself...

Abundance on all levels has become my reality and the interesting part is, that it seems, that the less I do on the outside, the more flow I experience... 

This dosen’t mean to just sit back and be passive but is more like a very active everyday presence, that keeps me constantly awake, so that I can act on the few but important impulses coming from my inside... ( or activated by something in the outer world)

You are already everything that you dream of. 

Focus with love and gratitude on what is already here and the abundance, that you didn’t see before, will reveal itself...